Stuck in reverse

Dearest Perempuan,

How'd more laziest all of time
Lmost a few months aii've got
just stay in house..
Dammed, aii've even doesn't understand
how look like the outsider!!
Hiaggss*
aii've got a lot world inside, perhaps
sow..aii've fell don't matter
if aii live like a cage!!

earlies Times
myparents told me
when aii've got apply some job
n going to far from them!!
aii wanna sow much*
but aii dun't know,
aii've still doesn't could imagine
how getting job living!!
Yea, aii've still feel like 18years old
baby girl and jus feeling aii'm in school
and goin' to the beat with my friends!!

Yeww,
fucked up with the ceremony of graduate
aii've still enjoyed bein' a overjoyin' gals!!
yea,, being naughty whose only thought
about lessoned and goin' crazy!!
eventhough the ages more higher
aii dun't care!!
just feeling that aii'm not alone being ugly person!!
why'd aii've been called like dat!!
sure, cuz un-tie now aii dunt hev spirit to
called anthin' called job blowed!!
hiaggss*
an illusion if aii've cannot do all of that
surely makes me shameless and doesn't hev braveness
meet the other cuz aii've looked and learned
how'd they're fucking proud of me!!
Listen another said just makes some another depression
about me!! man* aii can imagine dat aii've been dissapointed all of them..
even aii'm try hard, aii've supposed need another hand to hand,
let's said dat was not a people hand but Thelord Hands...
disputing never hev receives back all of my pray,
maybe, is just the way should aii've been go!!
and still must aii do..
how much a long time aii've been should
stuck in the reverse?!